Though I'll try to win your affections with false modesty...

The email I never got:

Fred,

It's awkward to write this, but you invested so much time in getting to know me, you deserve closure.

["Closure", I can hear you thinking. "While we're in the boardroom, why don't you just go ahead and tell me that you're reshuffling your priorities or downsizing me from your life"]

But I make no apologies for my vocabulary. After all, the only reason you were interested in me is that you were looking for somebody "sweet and kind, but not too bright". And indeed, I used flattery to hide my lack of intelligence. The fact that this worked (for a while, at least) is, I think, a poor reflection on you.

However my aim in writing this wasn't to make character judgements, so I'll get to the point. I just wanted to give you an explanation for why I refused to let you get to know me better. Basically, I was worried that if you got to know what I was really like, you'd lose interest. So, I kept up my facade, in the vain hope that it would provide an allure. It worked for a while, then - of course - you got bored. You started asking questions, and I climbed into my shell.

That's it, really. I know there's something inherently immature about telling you this in letter form, rather than face to face. I guess there always was something of the giggling teenage girl to me. Perhaps this accentuated our age differences - me acting younger than my years and you acting older.
Still, I hope we can keep in touch.

Signed.

n.